How To Growthhack Your Self Confidence and Mindset With These 5 Simple But Bulletproof Tips
Everyone one of us knows one of these persons that only need to enter a room and suddenly have all the attention dragged to them just because of their sheer presence. There is something inherent to that kind of person which makes you instantly like them. It almost seems like a magic aura that surrounds them everywhere they are. Some may call it self-confidence, some charisma. Whatever label you want to put on it, one thing is sure: You too can acquire it!
Don’t fall into the trap that your personal traits and social skills are unchangeable. Of course, some of us are more introverted and some of us are real peoples persons by nature.
That doesn’t mean that you have no influence on how to be perceived- by yourself and by others. Now there are tons of tips out there to improve self-confidence- the thing is that often they are just not very practical just like: “Overcome your limiting beliefs” or “Stop comparing yourself to others” etc.
These are all valuable tips that work great as long-term solutions as they make you analyze and get to know yourself better. However, I’m a huge fan of simplicity as I noticed during the years that the most simple things and changes in life are those which usually bring the best results. So if you are out to some real, executable game-changers that can boost your confidence and growth hack your personal appearance, take a look into the following list I’ve curated exclusively for you.
#TIP NUMBER 1: MAKE YOURSELF RESPONSIBLE
You must own everything in your world. There is no one else to blame. -Joko Willink-
“The price of greatness is responsibility” Winston Churchill already knew about the power of responsibility. To take responsibility is to learn to stop blaming life, society, or outer circumstances and instead accept that only you are the master of your life. We understand “responsibility” as the capacity to respond skillfully to a given situation. Responsible people, therefore, are those who have the talent or sufficiency to act appropriately in the face of certain events.
WHY IT WORKS:
Only by holding yourself accountable for your own action, you begin to appreciate and respect yourself. Blaming others will make us feel alone and disconnected from the world and if we blame ourselves, our self-esteem will suffer. People with high self-esteem are responsible for their own lives and take an active rather than passive role in the face of difficulties. They look for ways to solve them instead of blaming themselves or looking for someone to fix their problems. In addition, they strive to achieve their goals on their own, without waiting for someone else or fate to help them accomplish them. Once you accept the fact that only YOU are the master of your own life, self-confidence will start rushing through you and the people around you will notice it.
HOW TO EXECUTE:
To take full responsibility for your life may be easier than you think. You just have to do one thing: MAKE A DECISION! Now think about it: If you are not going to take control over your life, somebody else will. So I want you to sit down for a moment and commit to yourself that from today on you won’t blame anybody other than yourself for what might happen to you in the future.
Write it down in your own words and sign it. Make a contract with your future self. It may sound silly but our brain is wired to take written statements as facts. It works much better than just telling yourself that you will make yourself responsible for your life. So take out a pen and paper, commit to yourself and make this commitment visible to yourself every day. Only this you will start to form a habit of taking responsibility.
And please remember: It is important to know that we can all make mistakes and this does not make us any less valuable. Take future shortcomings as opportunities to learn to improve and make things better.
#TIP NUMBER 2: START OFF SMALL
Dream big. Start small. But most of all, start. -Simon Sinek-
Whatever it is in life that we want to achieve we tend to fall into the trap of confusing long and short-term goals. Bill Gates once put things straight: “Most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in ten years.”
Everybody heard this popular quote at least once. But did you ever really think about what this actually means and how it’s correlated with your success in life?
It may be good to some extent to THINK BIG- after all big visions are helping us to get things done. But at the same time, it is highly important that you stay realistic on what you can and cannot achieve on a short-term basis. If you are continuously focused on setting yourself achievable short-term goals in the end this will have a HUGE effect on your self-confidence. Let’s find out why.
WHY IT WORKS:
When you set yourself challenging but actually achievable goals you will start building a big number of personal accomplishments you can proudly think back to. Instead of desperately trying to change the world within a week you will build a series of little achievements that’ll soon turn into the success story of your life. As soon as you bet on small accomplishments you will turn success into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every time you accomplish something small you’ll get to experience a real sense of achievement which ultimately will pump up your self-confidence.
HOW TO EXECUTE:
There are a lot of systems to achieve goals. But for the purpose of starting small and gaining momentum real quick I found the following system published in Forbes Magazin extremely helpful for myself Allow me to reiterate the essence of this system and feel free to try it out on your own:
- Review all of the goals you’ve set in the past, but did not accomplish.
- Identify ONE goal from that list that you’d still like to accomplish
- Boil it down to a smaller goal — one that you can accomplish in 3–7 days
- Take action and complete it.
- Pick another small goal
- Get it done
- Do this until you’ve got 3–5 completed goals under your belt. Each of which is a little bigger than the one before it.
- Go after your big goal
#TIP NUMBER 3: DRESS WELL (ALWAYS)
Conventional wisdom is often right. And when people say that dressing well is key to success, they are not far off the mark. Studies have shown that good dress influences self-esteem. History has taught us that clothing has been an indicator of status, style, and personality. Historically, leaders, kings, and rulers wore the most striking and special outfits to convey their leadership and authority. Even today, part of that essence remains and dressing well is a sign of status that society perceives.
Therefore, our clothing and style are like a mirror in which we cannot see ourselves directly, but in which others see us and recognize us.
WHY IT WORKS:
Through clothing we let others get to know us and it becomes a powerful agent for communication and socializing. Wearing a comfortable outfit that fits your personality is a great starting point.
In the end, clothing is one of the most powerful forms of non-verbal communication. I’m pretty sure you can tell out of your own experience that when you dressed well you had a totally different self-image. If not just try to imagine yourself in a well-fitting suit or alike. Or remember the last time you bought an outfit that you really liked. I not inviting anybody to blind consumerism but I’m sure you’ll get my point…
HOW TO EXECUTE:
That being said there is no necessity to go crazy on this point and buy luxury suits or high-priced brands. Far from that. Just try to get a sense of your own style. Play with colors. Ask a close friend or family member about what they think looks good on you. Important: Don’t overdress as this might go in the wrong direction. You don’t want to appear in a suit at a casual weekend gathering with friends.
It is in your interest to think about the next day’s agenda the day before and prepare the accurate clothes accordingly. Want a bulletproof way of always looking good? Go and check out the following video of styler master Aaron Marino that will give you a solid understanding of how to master the clothing game.
#TIP NUMBER 4: MAKE YOUR COUNTERPARTS FEEL IMPORTANT
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou-
Ever wondered why people who seem to have achieved everything in life turn into philanthropists? It’s because helping people, providing support, cooperating with organizations, etc., are good acts that improve the quality of life in general. But beyond being a good deed, these actions directly and immediately benefit the person who performs them.
The trick here is to give people what they want. After all, human beings are social creatures yearning for appreciation and respect from others. Start focusing on the wellbeing of others and you soon will benefit not only from a much higher self-confidence but also achieve to reduce stress and increase your overall happiness.
WHY IT WORKS:
When we genuinely focus on helping others, we feel better about ourselves. This satisfaction comes from the certainty that we are acting in the right way. One’s self-image becomes more positive, as one can see oneself as a good and generous person.
But also, when this happens, we feel more useful. Knowing that we are necessary, that we can contribute to the well-being and happiness of others makes us feel important and valuable. All the positive attributes that come from acting in solidarity help to reinforce our self-esteem.
HOW TO EXECUTE:
Now you don’t have to join an NGO or commit to voluntary work in order to do good. Just try to take some time every to focus on how you could be helpful to others. This can be you’re family, friends, or colleagues at work- it really doesn’t matter. Just try to develop a collaborative mindset and show the people around you that you genuinely care about them. Need some inspiration on how to start off? Check out the following list of tips and tricks on how to become a more helpful person.
#TIP NUMBER 5: MASTER YOUR NONVERBALS
You see, but you do not observe. -Joe Navarro-
This is it. The holy grail of self-confidence and confident demeanor. It’s a long scientifically proven fact that non-verbal communication is the most important and powerful of all forms of human interaction. Despite the importance of this topic, nonverbal communication is far too underrated in our society. You know why? Because nonverbal communication happens almost exclusively on a subconscious level. If you don’t make an effort to focus on it you never improve it.
WHY IT WORKS:
I won’t’ bother you with boring statistics on the importance of nonverbal communication. Let’s instead have a look at why this form of interaction is so important to your self-confidence and appearance.
Our species may be no more than 200,000 years old, but the origin of our body language dates back to the appearance of the first mammals, some 300 million years ago. The age difference is abysmal. And although it may be tempting to think that nonverbal behavior is the most primitive part of communication, in reality, it is the one that has accumulated the most evolutionary experience and, in all probability, the most influential in our behavior.
Instinct and emotions have been faithful friends since long before reason was born. No matter how intelligent and rational we think we are, the truth is that non-verbal behavior, emotions, and the unconscious drive the way we communicate and go around telling everything about us.
HOW TO EXECUTE:
Now there is a crap ton of tips when it comes to improving one’s nonverbal communication. However, I would invite you first and foremost that you make it a habit to constantly observe yourself when communicating with others. Since we are used to rather concentrate on our words than on our body it is quite easy to lose focus on our nonverbals. However, it’s important to reflect on your body language until it becomes second nature to you. Having this in mind here are some practical techniques and best practices when it comes to developing powerful body language:
- Slow it down
The more you are in a hurry, the calmer you should appear. When you walk slowly you project control of the situation. You tell others without words, “I know very well what to do”. Now, on the opposite side, imagine a person who walks very fast. Would you say that he projects security and control of the situation? No, on the contrary, it reflects anxiety and lack of mastery. Practice the next time you start walking faster on impulse. Remember this advice and walk slowly and confidently, with your eyes straight ahead.
- Observe your feet
Joe Navarro, one of the most recognized experts on the subject of body language states that “the most honest part of the body is the feet”.
We have learned to control the upper body (gestures of the face, arms, hands, torso) but we neglected the body language of the feet because we learned that emotions communicate with the upper body.
Now you know that your feet reflect how comfortable you are in a place or with someone specific. When we are anxious, it is very common that we start to move our feet (especially if we are sitting down). Have you ever been talking to someone in a coffee shop and your interlocutor started to move his or her feet incessantly? It’s very likely that this person was already anxious to leave, or was nervous for some reason.
- Don’t touch your face!
Touching one’s own face relieves stress! It’s proven that spontaneous facial touches appear to help regulate cognitive overload and feelings of anxiety. However in general, when someone brings their hands to their face it is usually the result of some negative thought such as insecurity or distrust. Although it might be difficult to avoid this automatic gesture you should try and reduce it to a minimum.
- Eye contact is king
This is a reflection of the soul and bad use of the eyes can provoke distrust or animosity of the other. As a general rule, look into the eyes (if you have to look for a long time, choose the triangle formed between the eyes and the forehead). Do not do it insistently, but do not lower your gaze when you have to make an important statement, and be careful with the intensity of your blinking. Want to dig deeper into the topic?
Give this video by body language expert Joe Navarro a shot!
YOU ARE READY TO ROLL!
Great! Congratulations for making it so far. Now it’s up to you. Everything in life can instantly change with the right mindset and a healthy portion of self-confidence. By implementing the above maintenance guidelines into your day-to-day life you’ll soon notice how your self-perception will change- and others around you will notice it too.
Each of the above techniques has the potential to create big changes on their own. Just pick the one that seems most executable for you to start off and see how it positively impacts your life.
Have a happy journey and do not forget to learn a lot, keep smiling and stay always positive!!
